So, recent projects I've been involved with, reflections on my marriage, and some other crap that I read somewhere, have led me to an interesting conclusion - I think decision making is a kind of vulnerability.
What got me thinking about this was the time that someone suggested that one of those irritating "where do you want to eat" exchanges was a power struggle. You know, those times when you're trying to figure out what you want for dinner, and neither person is going to decide, and all anyone is throwing out are places they don't want to go? Ultimately, this isn't a case of two individuals being the image of selflessness. What's really going on is that we're trying to force the other to step out and make a call. For some reason we don't want to make that call ourselves. I don't want to pick a place and then find out Kim hates it, I don't want to decide something and drive across town just to find that a location is closed. I don't want anything to be my fault, and neither does she, so we argue.
This seems petty, right? It is. We haven't been wasting nearly as much time on this lately (largely because we don't go out much lately) but I think I've been learning some things about it and cutting through the process as a result.
This relates to creativity in the sense that we must make a huge array of judgment calls when we create anything at all, so this phenomenon is multiplied accordingly. It's hard to put a song or art piece forward because there's every possibility that someone is going to hate the placement of a bridge or find that your selection of imagery is too gimmicky. But this vulnerability is really enabling in the long run, because every step I've taken to push forward in full anticipation of criticism has made me more confident and assured in the process of action itself.
2 comments:
That's really an interesting perspective you bring up hon. I wouldn't have thought about it that way but I can see where you're coming from.
However, a counter argument I might have to your example of choosing a place to eat out could be that possibly both people are already irritable because of their hunger, and therefore decision making is not at its best and their effort to keep the peace has dwindled. Hungry tummies make for unhappy people = always! LOL
Thanks for these thoughts, Aaron. Interesting look at relationship dynamics (I know for me and my lady, she often just wants me to know what i want and make the choice! ahhh, man up, bob!) and also the parallels to the sometimes tricky paths we walk as creative artists. How often I have let myself find that step of revelation, as an artist, function in a crippling way. I like your action-oriented slant on it.
I really enjoyed reading this and thinking about it. :)
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